Eat My Face

Or, Really, Really ?!*%&$#@ Mother's Day Gifts

(This is simultaneously being posted on Melissa's blog because it's just that good)

If you're a Mom, what did you get for Mother's Day? Brunch with your family and a complimentary rose? (Or better yet, complimentary Mimosas?) A day off from cooking and other mundane mommy-chores? Or maybe even a store-bought gift? I sent my own Mom her favorite perfume and a card across the miles since we couldn't spend the day together.

I was excitedly summoned to the living room on Sunday morning by my kids for the presentation of a mysterious gift that arrived earlier that week. Hints of a wonderful "surprise" had me slightly curious, although in all honesty, I've learned over the past 8 years that lowering your expectations to the point of nothingness is really the way to go with this holiday. There were homemade cards that the girls created at school and at home, and of course, I always love and appreciate those. Thalia also made me a "rock person" at school, and even has the hot-glue gun burns to prove it! But last of all was the piece de resistance:

Don't you love it?! What do you mean, what is it? My FACE on M&Ms of course, silly goose!!! Yeah, because every Mom wants to eat her own face in chocolate, right?!

As a bonus, the M&Ms also have custom sayings on them:
Best Mom Ever!
Terrific Wife!

I was rather underwhelmed by my gift. I think Thalia picked up on that right away, because she quickly said "It was Daddy's idea." And so it was. Apparently my spouse thought it was a great gift idea. Interesting. Of course my little half-pints went along with it, what do they know? Candy for Mom? Hooray! They chose the colors, pink and platinum.

To humor them, I opened one of the three packages of customized M&Ms and let my kids eat my face. Several times in fact.

And then I got up off the couch and went back to bed for three more hours. Happy Mother's Day, y'all.